Sir Lawrence David Kipling
There are rumors that Sir Lawrence David Kipling discovered the legendary fountain of youth somewhere in the South Pacific. While Sir Kipling denies the rumors, speculation runs rampant as to how his beautiful wife retains her youthful appearance despite having been married to Sir Kipling for decades.
Some have even gone so far as in insinuate that a handful of the leading skin care companies have combined to pay vast financial sums to Sir Kipling, just to keep him from releasing his discovery to the world.
To further the speculation of such a discovery, he was seen providing an unknown liquid concoction to members of a herd of elephants in Sub-Saharan Africa. Some say that many in this particular herd have seen the quantity of wrinkles miraculously disappear. Sir Kipling response… “Poppycock”.
Recently, during one of the Kiplings’ overseas adventures, Sir Lawrence had a run in with one particular pachyderm who became disgruntled. Was it due to the potion he gave the elephant or was it due to the lack of peanuts Sir Lawrence had on hand? We may never know. What we do know is that Sir Lawrence found himself spending a few days in a medical facility dealing with his ailments, but he is on the road to recovery. May the words of Commander Youngington serve as a reminder, “He would be wise not to work for peanuts moving forward.”